Interesting jurisdictional problem

Thanks to Norm at Crime & Federalism for the hat tip on this, although he went off on a different angle.

The Facts (short version)- Guy from New York goes to Connecticut, allegedly has too much to drink and kills a pedestrian. Returns to New York, confesses to his parents, and they allegedly help him cover it up. Like I said, short version. Longer version here.

The guy is charged with various and sundry, and there is talk of charging the parents- but where? They never set foot in Connecticut, and their involvement seems to be entirely after the fact, meaning that they are not really conspirators to the substantive offense, and I can't find a Model Penal Code style territorial applicability statute in Connecticut. I suppose the effects doctrine from international law could apply here, or Connecticut could charge the parents with conspiracy to obstruct justice which would truly get around the jurisdictional problem altogether.

Still very interesting.

Evolution- Blame the Jews

Tip of the hat to the ACSBlog for this gem. Right wing legislators in Georgia and Texas are arguing that teaching evolution (as well as gravity, apparently) in public schools is unconstitutional because it is actually an ancient Kabbalistic conspiracy. The Kabbalah is a mystical Jewish tradition practiced by none other than Esther Ciccone! (Okay- that was mean...)

According to the memo (all italics and scare quotes in the original)-

All that can now be changed! Indisputable evidence--long hidden but now available to everyone--demonstrates conclusively that so-called "secular evolution science" is the Big-Bang 15-billion-year alternative "creation scenario" of the Pharisee Religion. This scenario is derived concept-for-concept from Rabbinic writings in the mystic "holy book" Kabbala dating back at least two millennia.

The memo goes on to conclude that the Kabbalistic evolution has a "very specific religious agenda,"making it unconstitutional to teach it in school.

Being the good liberal, constitutional lawyer that I am, I went to their source- the indisputable evidence that demonstrates conclusively their claims. The author cites as his source an organization called The Fair Education Foundation- on the web at www.fixedearth.com (yes that does say fixed earth). The site (written in stunning HTML 1.0!) greets visitors with a bold pronunciation:

The non-moving Earth

& anti-evolution web page of

The Fair Education Foundation, Inc.

Exposing the False Science Idol of Evolutionism,
and Proving the Truthfulness of the Bible from Creation to Heaven...

- since 1973 -

Marshall Hall, Pres.

***

EXTRA! EXTRA!

Read all about the Copernican and Darwinian Myths

(and their many ramifications going all the way to Kabbala-based Big Bangism!)

IN OVER NINETY LINKS BELOW....

Heh.

I am always amazed at how obvious fools manage to get taken seriously by people in places of power, but this is truly astounding. Elected officials in two sovereign states are making decisions based on the ramblings of a person who honestly and truly believes that the sun revolves around the Earth. I understand that ideas never truly die, they linger on in the meme pool competing with better ideas until only a handful of wingnuts adhere to them. But for elected officials to use these ramblings to advance an agenda just makes me scratch my head and thank my lucky (and not orbiting the Earth) stars that I don't live in Georgia or Texas.

I need to refocus this blog somewhat

When I started this blog, I envisioned it as a forum to comment on The State of the Law- that's capitalized, you see. However, with my net cast so wide, I find myself in a bit of a pickle.

With absolutely everything in the world to write about, I have nothing to say, as evidenced by my increasingly infrequent posts.

So I need to think for a few days about what I want this blog to be about, and hone in.

Well, that didn't take long

We have only just concluded the First 100 Hours, and Washington is back to its old ways. With much fanfare, the new Congress changed the rules to "break the link between lobbyists and legislation."

Link repaired!

In just the last two months, lawmakers invited lobbyists to help pay for a catalog of outings: lavish birthday parties in a lawmaker’s honor ($1,000 a lobbyist), martinis and margaritas at Washington restaurants (at least $1,000), a California wine-tasting tour (all donors welcome), hunting and fishing trips (typically $5,000), weekend golf tournaments ($2,500 and up), a Presidents’ Day weekend at Disney World ($5,000), parties in South Beach in Miami ($5,000), concerts by the Who or Bob Seger ($2,500 for two seats), and even Broadway shows like “Mary Poppins” and “The Drowsy Chaperone” (also $2,500 for two).

The lobbyists and their employers typically end up paying for the events, but within the new rules.

Instead of picking up the lawmaker’s tab, lobbyists pay a political fund-raising committee set up by the lawmaker. In turn, the committee pays the legislator’s way.

Few things are as certain as corruption in the Halls of Congress, except possibly the existence (and subsequent exploitation) of loopholes.

Aggessive trademark protection

I am a criminal defense lawyer- I have represented killers and rapists, thieves and thugs. And none of them are nearly so slimy as IP attorneys.

A stay-at-home-mom in Ohio and breastfeeding activist has gotten a C&D letter from the National Pork Board, because her Cafepress store carried a t-shirt that reads "The Other White Milk." I say carried because it seems that shirt may have been taken down. Oh, and all the sales go directly to the Mother's Milk Bank of Ohio.

I understand that they have to protect their trademark, but this paragraph actually infuriated me:

In addition, your use of this slogan also tarnishes the good reputation of the National Pork Board's mark in light of your apparent attempt to promote the use of breastmilk beyond merely for infant consumption, such as with the following slogans on your website in close proximity to the slogan "The Other White Milk." "Dairy Diva," "Nursing, Nature's Own Breast Enhancement," "Eat at Mom's, fast-fresh-from the breast," and "My Milk is the Breast.

Your apparent attempt to promote the use of breastmilk beyond merely infant consumption? It would appear that the good people at the National Pork Board have profoundly dirty minds, as well as being utterly humorless prigs, in light of their apparent attempt to be human beings.

That alone is bad enough, but let us not forget that not all hog farmers actually like the slogan- pork becomes white when factory farmed- organic pork, raised on pasture, is actually red. In fact, a majority of hog farmers voted to undo the slogan, only to have been saved by the Bush Administration.

So who benefits from aggressively protecting this trademark? Not the hog farmers, not the public, certainly a stay-at-home-mom in Ohio. So let me ask the Pork Council's lawyer, Jennifer Daniel Collins with Faegre & Benson a question that people ask me, defender of killers and rapists, all the time- how can you sleep at night?

Super Copyright Nonsense

There is a story making the rounds that the No Fun League has sent C&D letters to various churches planning to host Super Bowl parties. Apparently a church in Indiana was planning to host a "Super Bowl Bash" as a fundraiser. The NFL faxed a letter advising that the words "Super Bowl" are trademarked and that the league prohibits charging admission to watch the game. So far, the League was perfectly within its rights- so, the Pastor changed the name of the party and dropped the fee for admission.

Not good enough. The NFL claimed that the law prohibited displaying the game on a television larger than 55 inches. Legally, the NFL is correct- the Copyright Act generally holds that watching television is not an infringement, unless:

[In] an establishment other than a food service or drinking establishment, and... if the performance or display is by audiovisual means, any visual portion of the performance or display is communicated by means of a total of not more than 4 audiovisual devices, of which not more than 1 audiovisual device is located in any 1 room, and no such audiovisual device has a diagonal screen size greater than 55 inches.... 17 USC 110(5)(B)(i)(II).

This just demonstrates how technology is now outpacing the law. I'm sure there was a time when 55 inches seemed like the largest television possible, but you can now HDTVs twice that size. In any event, it hardly makes sense that infringement is based on the television you are watching on. This is a bad law that will need to be fixed, and soon.

Tyranny of the Uncool

By now you have probably heard about the Great Aqua Teen Hunger Force Fake Bomb Scare. If you haven't, I can summarize it this way- to promote the upcoming ATHF movie, viral marketers placed LED Mooninites around various cities, including Boston (where quite frankly, I would expect them to know better). Somebody who had never heard of ATHF and who did not recogize a little pixelized Space Invader flipping the bird as a cartoon character panicked and called in a possible bomb threat. The bomb squad was called out, much merriment ensued yadda yadda yadda.

Two people have been arrested and are now facing felony charges of placing a hoax device.

What I find so interesting about this case is that if you know what the Mooninites are, then it is clearly not a hoax device at all. However, some square who didn't get the joke decided it was a bomb (which if you ask me also makes him stupid- who places a bomb in plain view and then lights it up in bright green LEDs?). In other words, a person can be charged if somebody thinks it looks like a bomb, not whether the maker thinks it looks like a bomb.

These are interesting times for street artists and culturejammers. There is the Obey the Giant meme, there's Mark Jenkins' brilliant (and slightly creepy) tape sculptures, and there is Invader's use of the Space Invaders Mooninites (to bring it all back around to the ATHF). It is understood among street artists that some people will not get the point- I would argue that causing confusion is the point of most street art. Here, someone who didn't get the joke interpreted it in the worst possible way, and now two people face jail based on that man's stupidity.

Creativity is often lost on the masses. I would not expect someone whose cultural experience is limited to Oprah, Tom Clancy, and pretty pictures to get ATHF. I would not expect someone to get a felony charge for it either.